Thursday, August 20, 2009

It appears I suddenly quit with updating this blog each day, but I have not forgotten it is here. Summer is not quite over yet, but almost, and so I will end this blog with this one last post in honor of a year finished...and a birthday.

It’s a disappointing thing, sometimes, to realize that when you move far away from home the only thing you can’t leave behind is you. Sometimes we want to leave our families, forget our situations, and wipe the slate clean. What we fail at times to realize, however, is that deep down inside what we really want is not a clean slate, but a brand new one—a shiny fancy one with special places to hold the perfect writing utensils, the intricately carved wood frame buffed and finished in high gloss, and the built-in stand on the back so it needs no help being propped up. But as clean as the slate can be, it can never be replaced, and the memory—the scratches, the scuffmarks, the worn edges—it contains can never, by any means of our own, be erased.

I was not unaware when I left my home that I would always be where I always am. I may, however, have been a bit too naïve in hoping the slate could in fact be wiped clean with no remnants left of what I wanted to be my old life. But I’m learning our life is our life and as much as it evolves, it does not simply start over. There is not old and new but simply then and now, and even that can get a little muddled. It’s difficult when the same things show up over and over and you just want to know that someday those things won’t be there anymore, meanwhile, let’s keep the good stuff.

Tomorrow is my birthday, which, consequently, marks one year of being in Kentucky. As I finish out my twenty-eighth year of life and stamp it with the number twenty-eight for approval, I end this year and begin the next one with a sigh of recognition that the time to look deep into the very being of who I am and why I’m here has come. I did not have unrealistic expectations that Kentucky would magically sweep all my weaknesses and flaws away (which isn’t to say I wouldn’t have been happy if it had). And so I find myself in the very place I need to be, which is always the place where we’d rather not. I think of my sweet friend Sarah from back home who always gives her new birthday year a theme and I wonder what mine might be if I were to follow suit. The Hard Stuff, perhaps? Or maybe something a little lighter—I wouldn’t mind.

Tomorrow marks a new year in my life and a new year in Kentucky. What it will hold, I can’t even guess

Friday, July 25, 2009

For a number of hours today, I got to hang around with Marilyn as we began the process of fixing up what will be a prayer garden here at Asbury. And it was the most fun I’ve had in a very long time, definitely the most fun I’ve had all summer. We laughed and worked and played and chatted and had a ball. I got to hear stories of how she and her husband met and dated. We wondered around a gardening store and made commentary to one another about the statues. She talked a little about her youngest son who finally just moved away from home (he’s my age) and his struggles that always go along with that. I love hearing Marilyn talk about her children. She is so in love with them and delighted by them, even when they make bad choices.

Today, we pressure washed. I thought this might take an hour at most. Not true. It took the whole time. In the middle of it, we took a break and went for a drive to get some materials and do a little browsing. The pressure washer Marilyn borrowed had a little container on it to put soap in. And so Marilyn went out and bought a big jug of soap. In the process of trying to pour it into the soap container, I got some on me and when I went to rinse it off, I was annoyed that it would not come off. I found that weird, but paid little notice as we powered the thing up and went at it with the benches and the cement floor.

And then at one point, I went to switch my hands on the nozzle because my elbow was getting tired and felt a sudden sharp sting in my finger as if I had just gotten a sliver. It stung so badly that I put the nozzle down and left for the bathroom to wash my hands, wherein I noticed even with other soap, I was hard pressed to get this soap off my hands. I continued with the power washing for a little while longer before Marilyn took over when I needed a break. I sat for a moment and then picked up the jug of soap and turned it around so I could see the warning label. “CAUSES SEVER BURNS” it stated just like this in caps, and then went on to state it should not be ingested and should be kept out of contact with eyes, mouth, and skin. Skin. Yes, that’s what it said. For a couple of hours we’d been spraying that stuff all over. The nozzle was covered in it because our hands had gotten soapy from it and the mist had likely been inhaled by the both of us. Flush skin for 15 minutes, it said, if you get any on it. I told Marilyn to turn off the power washer for a minute and, laughing, read her the warning label. We had a good laugh and she said, “My legs do seem to feel a little strange. Needless to say, that sliver was not a sliver, but a tiny chemical burn where the skin had come off. The sting was the feel of that soap on the rawness underneath.

A small price to pay for having a blast of a day with Marilyn. On our return from the drive, Marilyn dropped me off to power wash some more while she left to drop off the sander she had borrowed and used on the top of the benches. Instead of power washing, I ran off to the post office to get my Victoria’s Secret package I knew was waiting for me. In it were a couple pairs of pants and a shirt, among other things. As I made my way back to the garden, Marilyn was walking in and when she saw me she said, “What is that?” I replied with a big smile on my face, “It’s my Victoria’s Secret package.” “What did you get?” “Some pants and a shirt, I think.” And she smiled and said, “Okay, I’ll power wash while you go try the clothes on and show them to me.” I laughed at her delight in my new clothes and gave her the fashion show she wanted. They are, I should note, some great clothes. Marilyn wholeheartedly approved.

The final bit of amusement came when Bekah and Elissa wondered over to see what we were up to. I can’t remember, now, what we were talking about, but Marilyn commented to them that she and I were a lot alike. Case in point happened only a few minutes later when Marilyn put something in her car and turned back around to head back down to the garden and tripped over the curb and stumbled, in slow motion, to the ground. No harm was done and we all couldn’t help but laugh, and not more than thirty seconds later, I turned back around to walk back into the garden and tripped on my own feet. These are the ways in which you should not be like somebody else. Well, whatever.

Marilyn and I finally parted ways and I wandered back to the dorm for the rest of the afternoon and evening. It was definitely a good day. And so, until next time. There is still much more to be done on the garden. Here are a few pictures from the day.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

written the following day

I bombed out in Hebrew again today. And I sit here and let out a sigh as I think about it. Here's to hoping I simply pass the class!

On the up side, Marilyn walked with me to go find myself some lunch and convinced me to go to Subway and split a veggie sub with her. So we ordered to go and thought to eat outside, but the Kentucky summer was rearing its unpleasant head, so we sat in the student center instead and ate. A good way to begin my Hebrew studying for the day. Always a joy to get to chat with Marilyn. You just never know what might come out of her mouth.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Wednesday was a whole lot of Hebrew. I'm ssssoooooooooooooooooo tired of Hebrew. I've come to hate it. We didn't have class today, so I studied, but it doesn't feel as if I'm getting much of anywhere.

So I took a break and watched So You Think You Can Dance! Which I missed last week. And it had the most amazing dance on it about fighting breast cancer. Brilliant. Watch it.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

written later

Perhaps it’s time to remember Jesus. I seem to have pushed him by the wayside in the midst of this ocean of Hebrew I’m drowning in. One might think that studying Hebrew would bring you closer to God, but anyone who might think that has never taken Greek or Hebrew. It will bring you closer after that fact, but in the midst, it will make you want to shoot yourself. I feel as if one of these days I ought to learn a language that is not dead. Someday, Bengali will fill that roll, and in my dreams, so will French and Italian, but don’t put much stock in that actually happening. I dream a lot and I dream big.

On a high note, I got my glasses! They’re awesome! I’m loving them! And this day is exactly one month till my birthday. Let the countdown begin.

Now back to Hebrew. Ugh.

Monday, July 20, 2009

I should be writing a post that repeats yesterday's post...but I'm not. Because I can't. Because I wore myself out on Hebrew. I tried, I really did, to study Hebrew today, but alas, I didn't get particularly far. We don't have a quiz the following morning, so I let myself slack a bit. Not smart, but maybe needed. Instead, I was able to go get my splurge of the year! My purple Ray Ban Wayfarer Original sunglasses, Bob Dylan style. They are currently at the eye doctor getting the perscription lenses put in. I can go pick them up after my next class is over. So excited. This is a picture of the lovely babies. Morgan got matching, though tortoise shell instead of purple, glasses and we will be taking pictures soon. So wait for some goodness to show up on here. Well, more goodness;).

Sunday, July 19, 2009

I studied Hebrew all day today. And I mean aaaalllllllll day. And it felt a bit like this picture.


Off to bed, now, to do it all again tomorrow.